Thursday, November 17, 2011
Severe Fibromyalgic Flare up with Hypermobility Syndrome
Although one of my rheumatologists alluded to me having Fibromyalgia (FM) I tried very hard not to take this as an emotional hit of another diagnosis, but tried, as K suggested to accept it as a description of symptoms going on. I am in one of the most severe flare ups I have possibly ever had in relation to pain and FM+HMS. I am so fatigued I had to sleep between the people I was working with today. I had to take a taxi home. I have had two long hot baths in less than four hours and taken Diazepam, Codeine, Oramorph and anti-sickness medication. I have tried stretches, doing my physio exercises, relaxation, watching TV, but the pain is searing, sharp, and in nodules in my neck, shoulders, hips, calves, hands, arms, feet, virtually everywhere. I feel so isolated. I just want someone to hold me. I have cried, I have held my cat. I have eaten chocolate. I feel under huge pressure to be at work tomorrow because I am the only person on duty in my department. I am being seen by my Rheumatologist because he is visiting my place of work tomorrow, so that is the best reason I have of going in. I have no brain. My concentration is terrible. I cannot follow instructions. I forget everything. I am useless. Maybe I am human, or just trying to cope with an exceedingly difficult situation. It has been my aim to try and help others. I need help from people, but it is pathetic asking for help with shopping. Last weekend it took me half an hour to change my duvet because my arms were too tired to manage the task very quickly. I feel too proud to ask for the help I need and don't want to bother my friends. Worst of all, I am sure that K is absolutely sick of me, but I need some help and a priority for now has to be getting back on top of my pain and severe and relentless muscle spasming. I am depressed because this is such a huge flare up. The Isobel I know wants to keep on beating this situation so she can continue helping others. I am sure I will be able to do so again in due course.