Friday, November 28, 2008

On a real downer

As a student Dance Scientist, I should really know by now that fatigue and high quality performance in a ballet class do not go hand-in-hand. I woke up feeling utterly shattered and should have listened to my body and stayed in bed asleep, but no, I fought my way to class, and hoped it would wake me up, but instead because I was not on good form, I did very badly indeed and had a very unpleasant throbbing pain in my calf by the time we were doing travelling pirouettes.

I am feeling so fed up with this now, it is causing me to lose a lot of confidence in myself. It is true that in my Friday classes I do substantially more demi-pointe work at the barre - e.g. battement frappes, fondus, developes all on the demi-pointe, but I hate having to be careful and this then causes me a lot of tension.

The teacher commented very positively on how lovely my arabesque line is and how much better I am in my hips and lifting up, but it was hardly a compensation for another ruined class - I never even got as far as allegro today. I have to admit to shedding a few tears whilst the other 2 people in the class (there were only 3 of us!) were jumping - I just don't know when I will be able to dance 'with flow' again.

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