Wednesday, May 12, 2010


I went into my fourth physiotherapy session on the verge of crisis, which has today gone into full-blown crisis. Potential theories for the crisis are the right arm reaching exercise on transference of weight, given to me by K last week. She explains it is a spastic patterning and that my body doesn't like it. Clearly not! I ache all over, feel incredibly fatigued and have neck and shoulder pain and a splitting headache. I spent most of yesterday post-physio in bed and got up to do ballet. Incredible as this sounds, thought it might be a good thing to do to ensure I was properly tired (so what is the difference between being fatigued and tired then...?). Ballet wasn't bad and I did some really good balances in attitude on the demi-pointe. I did sleep well last night, but this wasn't just being asleep, it was being dead-tired and a fatigue that is beyond comprehension. I had to mentally image walking to the bathroom just in order to manage it at all. I spent half an hour with my head on an overball. Normally I spend 5 minutes, but it took me that much energy to move again, plus I have been having spasm attacks in regular spates over the past 24 hours. My hip flexors are pulling me down and my pelvis hurts, and yet I am still trying to do some work when not asleep. I am having to mentally visualise myself at work tomorrow because there is so much going on. However for today, I can only manage very small chunks of time. Tomorrow seems like next week. I need to stop typing now. My arms are aching as if I have lifted weights for an hour. I am visualising taking them off the computer, picking my legs up and crawling back to bed. I may as well be going for a ten mile run, because that is the amount of effort this will take me!

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